As I mentioned on my facebook page today, most everyone on here knows I’ve struggled with my weight for years…decades. I’ve always thought “if I can just get down to 160, I’ll be happy” like it was a guarantee. What I’ve learned over the years of altering my diet/s and pushing myself to workout because that’s what I’m supposed to do is that it doesn’t really work. I’m not much smaller than I was last year. In fact, I’ve gained a couple of pounds. I typically don’t discuss weight loss with anyone unless they bring it up because it is a very personal and touchy subject. After reading several books, articles, and blog posts with competing ideas, it’s obvious none of us really have the key to weight loss. But…maybe that’s the problem.
We’re so focused on weight loss that we forego health in order to reach an ideal number. I’m tired. I’m tired of stressing over it. I’m tired of feeling like a failure because the scale hasn’t budged. So, I quit. I’m no longer going to worry about losing weight but rather focus on being healthy. Would I like to be smaller? Sure…I think I would look better smaller, but that’s totally a because of vanity! If I’m healthy, I should be able to do the things I want to do REGARDLESS of my size. I will continue to exercise/workout in a way that brings me happiness or peace of mind, not because I ate a donut that I need to burn off. I will also continue to try to make better food choices because that will lead to a healthier me. If, in the process, I lose some fat, great! I’ll take it. But I will not let my size/weight/arbitrary number on the BMI scale determine my mood for the day or my self worth. Right now, at this point in time, at my current size, I am a enough/worthy/valuable/loved.
I want to be strong and proud of what I can accomplish with my body. My body should be appreciated by me instead of constantly belittled. I’ve gotten better over time of stopping the negative self talk, but it’s still there. Until I can treat myself the way I would treat a dear friend, I’m missing the point.