Category Archives: Goals

When the fat Comes Back

The past couple of months, since giving up dieting, I’ve been reading Go Kaleo’s blog and have joined the Eating the Food Facebook Group (awesome support there!). I’ve also read Matt Stone’s books Eat for Heat and Diet Recovery 2 as well as Amber’s Taking up Space. Slowly, I’ve replaced all of the blogs/books I used to read about calorie restriction and the latest/greatest diet with items that promote healthy living and loving the body you have now, not the body you’re longing to have.

I’m struggling a bit though. I’ve gained weight. I went from a 55lb loss to a 33lb loss, which is still a loss but…sigh…22lbs? I “think” my scale has stopped moving up but I’m trying not to weigh myself too much because I’m afraid of what the number will be. There are plenty of other people in my camp and the common response is “be patient. Just keep going and you’ll start losing again”. Shoot, look at Amber’s results and that should speak for itself. However, on the same foot, people have laughed at others who just kept going with Paleo thinking it would eventually work for them. So, that little voice in my head starts saying “what if they’re wrong? What if they’re just saying that because that’s what they ALL say?”

I’m really trying my best not to flip out and start dropping my calories again. My metabolism is shot. I know this. I’ve been perpetually dieting since my mom made me do Weight Watchers with her when I was 11. I’m not faulting my mom, not at all. She did what she felt was right, but it also started an unhealthy view of food from then on.

When I started the re-feeding I ate whatever my body craved. What did it crave? Chocolate, candy, cake, greasy burgers, and chocolate…did I mention chocolate? So, I let myself eat it. Before, I would buy a bag of almond M&Ms. Not the small personal size but the big mama jama bag. I’d eat the whole bag in one sitting while Mike was gone or while I was at work in my office then I’d hide the evidence. I did a lot of “closet” eating like that. On my 30th day sugar free, I ate cookies, cake, and candy because I had reached my goal of 30 days and could enjoy a “little bit” now. Eating disorder? Pfft…no, I didn’t have an eating disorder. I was still fat. People with EDs are thin and make themselves either starve or throw up. That definitely was NOT me. Then again, that’s what anyone with an ED would say, isn’t it? I may not have been anorexic or bulimic but I definitely had an unhealthy relationship with food.

I still have some days where I eat a lot of sugar, but I also have quite a few days where I think “oh, I can get a candy bar at lunch and be done with it by the time I get back to the office and no one will know” but then don’t do it because I don’t really want to eat it. It’s just the ED rearing its ugly head again. I recognize this now. And while it’s extremely embarrassing for me to admit I hid food, I know I’m not alone. I also understand that sugar, starch, salt, and fat help to repair a destroyed metabolism so it’s not any shock that I would be craving some of the foods I’m craving.

However, I’m still scared to death. What if all of this won’t work for me like it did for some of the others? As some people have said I am not a “special snowflake”. Tammy’s body works the same as most every one else’s. So, I just have to trust in the process and keep on keeping on.

One of the measurements for metabolism health is body temperature. If you’re below 98 degrees, then you need to do more work on your system. Also, after you eat a “warm” meal (meaning it raises the core temperature and repairs the metabolism) you should feel it. I have yet to feel that warming sensation. However, I am learning to identify certain things my body is trying to tell me. For instance, my “I’m satiated” signal is very very quiet but it is there. If I eat slow enough and listen I can identify that and stop eating. This typically happens well before I finish my entire meal. There are days though that I don’t hear it or the taste of the food is so “loud” that it overpowers that signal and I eat until I’m bursting at the seams. I know this now and with knowledge comes power. I’m not sure if I’m brave enough to post unflattering pictures here, but I will do my best to keep track of my progress.

All of that being said, and that’s quite a bit so thank you for still reading!, I am able to lift weights and can feel myself getting stronger every day. My running on the other hand has suffered because I just haven’t done it in a month. That’s ok though. My body needed a break from it so I gave it to her.

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One Little Word, Again!

It’s a new year and that means I need a new word. Last year I chose “Revivify” as my watchword.

to restore to life; give new life to; revive; reanimate. This rut I’m in needs to be filled in and a new path taken.

I didn’t have a huge overhaul this past year, but I do believe I lived up to my word. I’ve done several races in the past couple of years, but I was getting bored with it and about ready to stop all together when a friend suggested we try an obstacle race. This is wayyyy outside of my comfort zone, so I said yes! What better way to get out of my rut than to try new things to challenge myself!

In fact, I did several races that were a little different for me. First was the 5K Foam Fest, then the Color Me Rad 5K, and last I signed up for a Zombie run (that’s actually this June). Unfortunately, exercise was about the only thing in my life that I changed. I started doing my own weight workouts and I joined a running group. I completed the Muddy Trails 5K even though I said I wasn’t going to do it again. Then, I completed two new races: Run Thru the Woods 5 Miler at Thanksgiving and the Texas 1/2 Marathon on New Year’s Day! I was going to do the 10 for Texas with Mike, but it was right after my throat surgery and I had to give my admission to someone else.

On the health front, I joined MyFitnessPal and met some wonderful people. One of which was the impetus for me trying the different races than I was used to! Hi Amy! I also joined Move More, Eat Well and learned a bit about health and digital scrapbooking. Again, I met some lovely people in this group!

I do feel that I’ve grown spiritually in the past year as well. I’m also more open to trying new things/adventures than I would have been any other time! This year I did my best to try and view things from other people’s perspectives and give back where I could.

All in all, 2012 was a pretty good year (despite having lost two beloved uncles and a scare with my Grandma). Now, however, I’m back to needing a word for 2013 and I’m having a hard time figuring out what it should be. I have some big changes coming up this year that could throw me off my game. With that in mind, I believe I want 2013 to be my year of balance. 2010 was my year of “Transformation“, 2011 I was “Shine“ing, and in 2012 I wanted revivification. See a pattern here?!

I need to balance being healthy with enjoying life. It’s not all or nothing. If I eat poorly at one meal, one day, one week, or even one month I’m not going to give up but I’m going to slowly steer this ship back in the right direction and keep on chugging on. Time at work needs to be balanced more fully with quality time with Mike and my family. Yes, “Balance” will do nicely!

Stack of Stones

Texas 1/2 Marathon, Kingwood 2013

This year I decided to do the 1/2 marathon again on New Year’s Day. What a great way to start the new year! Unfortunately, this year it was a bit rainy. However, it did make for almost optimal running with the cooler temps and no glaring sun!

Last year was the year of the pig. This year was the year of the rat. Nice, right?! They did have a cute inflatable rat in a trap though. It looks all shimmery but that’s just because it was raining.

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My running coach, Liz, was there to cheer us on this year! I also met Sandra and Ruth (Sandra in middle) who will be part of our 4 man Marathon relay in March! That was a pleasant surprise.

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We all gathered around the starting line trying to stay warm as we waiting for the sun to rise. The park is closed from dusk to dawn, so we had to wait for the dawn to move in!

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At 8 AM, it was officially start time for the Marathon. I had originally signed Mike and I up for the 1/2 Marathon, but Mike decided he was going to run the full. Yep…not training…just jump in with both feet! Doesn’t he look excited?!

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They counted down the seconds then the Marathon group took off. We 1/2 Marathoners were left to wait 15 minutes to give the first group a chance to spread out some.

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This year I had completed all of my training and came through without any injuries, so I was feeling pretty good! When 8:15 AM hit, I was off like lightening! So fast, I’m nothing but a blur!

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Ok, so I wasn’t that fast but I was going faster than I should have been that early in the race. My adrenaline always gets the best of me. I tried to slow it down a bit but I was already starting to get some shin splints. Thankfully they were gone by mile 3. Normally they have signs posted on the trees with everyone’s name, but since it was raining they didn’t have them this time. However, it was still a nice run.

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The loop goes along the greenbelt trails behind and among houses then wraps around Lake Houston. This is one of my favorite parts because you can always see ducks and other birds hanging around.

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There’s a man-made lake that we also run around after the turn around and on our way back to the start. That’s a nice little loop as well. For the 1/2 marathon we get to go around it twice! This is where Liz was waiting to cheer us on. More cowbell please! This photo was after the first loop. I was a bit more fresh that time than the second.

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I passed Mike several times, as I did many other runners. Since the Marathon people go around the loop 4 times you’ll see them going and coming! I was passed by the two lead Marathoners before I finished my first loop. They were hauling. I believe first place finished in 3:10:00.

When I made the first turnaround, I decided I was going to run until I just HAD to walk. It was too hard to do intervals with all the stopping and starting. Once I stopped running it was very hard to get going again. So, I ended up running (albeit slowly) the last 10 miles of the race! I was hurting toward the end. Mike passed me the last time and made the comment that he was hurting at that point too. Unfortunately, he was just heading out for his last loop while I was about a mile and a half from the finish!

I crossed the finish line with an official time of 3:14:43 which put me at a sub 15 pace (14:52) and was a PR (205 out of 259)!! I was about 9 minutes faster than the year before. I was hurt last year though, so it makes me wonder a bit if I hadn’t been hurt what I could have done. *shrug*

The race photos were kinda funny this year. I looked way too happy (first loop…again!):

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Tammy Texas Marathon

 

And Mike looked just flat out bored!

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Liz, Sandra, and Ruth were at the finish line. It was nice to have people cheering me on at the finish line! I grabbed a slice of pizza, a couple of chocolate chip cookies (Hey, I earned it!), and some water while Liz and I waited for Mike to finish. He had a goal of finishing in 4 hours or less. His official time was 4:02:43 (9:16/M; 51 out of 248). That is outstanding for someone who didn’t run any further than 10 miles leading up to this! You could tell he was hurting though as he crossed over.

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I was, and am, very proud of him. We grabbed our medals and headed home. He was so cold afterward he was shaking and just couldn’t get warm. We had the heat up full blast in the car and when we got home I bundled him up in flannel pants, a blanket, and my space heater! This is one reason why we train people!! You have to get your body used to the distances. Mike swore he’d never do another marathon but a few days later he was already calculating how to beat this year’s time!

Even though I said I wasn’t going to, that this 1/2 was going to be my last long run, I signed Mike and I up for the FULL Marathon next year! Afterall, what better year to do my marathon than the Year of the Elephant!

 

 

So Many Posts, So Little Time…

Wow…I have a ton of posts I need to do but just haven’t made the time to do them. I haven’t really talked about my weight loss efforts lately, except for this whiny post, and I think that is affecting my scale. When I was blogging about my workouts and food every day I was losing pretty consistently. I stop talking about them and I stop losing weight. Definitely a correlation! I need to keep my task at hand as close to the forefront as possible to keep myself focused.

So…where were we? How about doing a quick view of my workouts for October.

Yeah, that’s a bit pathetic looking compared to September. However, I had a valid excuse. I had my 4th dilation and the doc told me to sit out for 7-10 days. That being said, I was still slightly inconsistent with my workouts after that too though. I joined a challenge set up by Juliann on Daily Mile to run 10 more miles in November than I did in October. Given that I ran 51 miles in September and only 29 in October, I think I can hit that number!

I also started a competition with Amy where we get points for working out, eating under our calorie goal and hitting 1 macro goal (mine is keeping carbs at or under 150). We also get bonus points if we hit all three in a day to help make up for the times where we weren’t so good! Yep, we also get deducted points when we fail to eat under calories or hit our macro of choice. Seeing as how this started yesterday, November 1st, I’m already negative in points! I knew that going in though because I never eat well at the quilt fest! The competition ends on Jan. 31st and the winner will get to pick the reward, which we haven’t decided on just yet! In February, we’ll be running the Hot Chocolate 5K. Amy wanted to do the 15K, but I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to hold to the 15 minute pace minimum for that distance. So…I’m dragging her to the 5K!

Amy and Jeremy did the 5K Foam Fest with me in October. That was a blast. I still owe y’all a post about that one. They finally sent me the digital pictures (the company, not Amy and Jeremy!) so I’ll be writing that up pretty quick like. No…really…I will! 😀

Umm….what else….I’m sure I’m missing something but that’s ok. I’ll update this site as I go. You’ll be seeing a lot more posts about my weight loss efforts just because it’s something I need to do to keep myself accountable!

Have a great Friday!!

 

So…How was Stage 1?

I know what you’re all wanting to know. “Am I a She-Hulk yet?” Not, quite but I sure feel like a beast!!

Let’s see how my stats are from 6 weeks ago to yesterday’s final workout:

  Start End
Back Squat 45 125
Deadlift 95 160
Push Up 45% Reg
Seated Row 45 110
Step Up 55 85
Shoulder Press 15 27.5
Wide Grip Pull Down 40 105
Lunge 15 27.5

While I’m happy with my leg moves, I’m not that thrilled with the press! I mean, come on…27.5lbs? When I was doing CrossFit my 1 time max rep for strict press with a barbell was 80lbs. So, while I find the dumbbell harder I still thought I’d be able to get up to 35 or 40lbs. That’s alright though, I’ll keep pushing through. It’s shocking how out of proportion my upper body strength is to my lower body!

I have missed heavy lifting. I enjoyed CrossFit at the gym until things just built up to a breaking point. Doing CrossFit at the park was fun, but we could never do more weight than we could put in a sandbag and Neal moved on to bigger and better opportunities.

Honestly, I was a bit afraid to see how much muscle strength I had lost in the last few months. Thankfully, I feel like I’ve caught back up pretty quickly to what I think I could do before. My 1 rep max for back squats is 175lbs, so 125lbs at 3×8 is pretty cool!

In order to be able to workout at home, I had to start getting up at 3:45 with my husband. I always thought he was crazy for getting up that early, but if I didn’t want to die of heat stroke sacrifices had to be made. It’s a good thing there’s a bit of a walk to get to the garage, otherwise I think I would have been half asleep at the beginning of my workouts which could have led to disaster!

My weak areas are obviously the press, but also the step ups. I used the barbell for the step ups, but my balance wasn’t the best. It looks like I’ll continue to do those through Stage 2, so I’ll work on getting better with those. There has definitely been improvement, but there’s plenty of room for more!

My back squats and deadlifts were outstanding! I always felt strong on those moves. My grip tends to give out before my strength does so I’ll have to work on getting a stronger grip too (hello farmer’s carry). A couple of the moves that shocked me were the wide grip lat pull downs and seated row. I was able to do a lot more weight than I thought. Grrrr!

There is no doubt in my mind that my core is stronger. I am able to do the prone jackknife without the ball rolling around everywhere (I do mean everywhere!) and I’m able to do regular push ups from the ground, even if they’re not pretty just yet!

Ok, ok, on to the measurements. These aren’t exact, since I didn’t take the measurements on day 1, but it’s close enough (maybe 3 or 4 days off). There are no huge changes but I feel like my body composition has changed.

  Start End
Arms (left) 13.5″ 13.5″
Chest 39.5″ 40″
Waist 37.5″ 37″
Hips 43.25″ 43.25″
Thighs (left) 26″ 25.75″
Calves (left) 17.5″ 17.5″

I also didn’t take before photos. I know…silly me. However, here is the Stage 1 After and Stage 2 Before. I’m not happy with these photos. In my head I’ve become a World Class Fitness Competitor and these pictures do not support that ideal. But, I had a good “woe is me” moment last night and am choosing to ignore the physical evidence and still see myself as a goddess!

Then, for comparison, here’s a shot of me from May (left) and July (right).