Category Archives: Food Log

When the fat Comes Back

The past couple of months, since giving up dieting, I’ve been reading Go Kaleo’s blog and have joined the Eating the Food Facebook Group (awesome support there!). I’ve also read Matt Stone’s books Eat for Heat and Diet Recovery 2 as well as Amber’s Taking up Space. Slowly, I’ve replaced all of the blogs/books I used to read about calorie restriction and the latest/greatest diet with items that promote healthy living and loving the body you have now, not the body you’re longing to have.

I’m struggling a bit though. I’ve gained weight. I went from a 55lb loss to a 33lb loss, which is still a loss but…sigh…22lbs? I “think” my scale has stopped moving up but I’m trying not to weigh myself too much because I’m afraid of what the number will be. There are plenty of other people in my camp and the common response is “be patient. Just keep going and you’ll start losing again”. Shoot, look at Amber’s results and that should speak for itself. However, on the same foot, people have laughed at others who just kept going with Paleo thinking it would eventually work for them. So, that little voice in my head starts saying “what if they’re wrong? What if they’re just saying that because that’s what they ALL say?”

I’m really trying my best not to flip out and start dropping my calories again. My metabolism is shot. I know this. I’ve been perpetually dieting since my mom made me do Weight Watchers with her when I was 11. I’m not faulting my mom, not at all. She did what she felt was right, but it also started an unhealthy view of food from then on.

When I started the re-feeding I ate whatever my body craved. What did it crave? Chocolate, candy, cake, greasy burgers, and chocolate…did I mention chocolate? So, I let myself eat it. Before, I would buy a bag of almond M&Ms. Not the small personal size but the big mama jama bag. I’d eat the whole bag in one sitting while Mike was gone or while I was at work in my office then I’d hide the evidence. I did a lot of “closet” eating like that. On my 30th day sugar free, I ate cookies, cake, and candy because I had reached my goal of 30 days and could enjoy a “little bit” now. Eating disorder? Pfft…no, I didn’t have an eating disorder. I was still fat. People with EDs are thin and make themselves either starve or throw up. That definitely was NOT me. Then again, that’s what anyone with an ED would say, isn’t it? I may not have been anorexic or bulimic but I definitely had an unhealthy relationship with food.

I still have some days where I eat a lot of sugar, but I also have quite a few days where I think “oh, I can get a candy bar at lunch and be done with it by the time I get back to the office and no one will know” but then don’t do it because I don’t really want to eat it. It’s just the ED rearing its ugly head again. I recognize this now. And while it’s extremely embarrassing for me to admit I hid food, I know I’m not alone. I also understand that sugar, starch, salt, and fat help to repair a destroyed metabolism so it’s not any shock that I would be craving some of the foods I’m craving.

However, I’m still scared to death. What if all of this won’t work for me like it did for some of the others? As some people have said I am not a “special snowflake”. Tammy’s body works the same as most every one else’s. So, I just have to trust in the process and keep on keeping on.

One of the measurements for metabolism health is body temperature. If you’re below 98 degrees, then you need to do more work on your system. Also, after you eat a “warm” meal (meaning it raises the core temperature and repairs the metabolism) you should feel it. I have yet to feel that warming sensation. However, I am learning to identify certain things my body is trying to tell me. For instance, my “I’m satiated” signal is very very quiet but it is there. If I eat slow enough and listen I can identify that and stop eating. This typically happens well before I finish my entire meal. There are days though that I don’t hear it or the taste of the food is so “loud” that it overpowers that signal and I eat until I’m bursting at the seams. I know this now and with knowledge comes power. I’m not sure if I’m brave enough to post unflattering pictures here, but I will do my best to keep track of my progress.

All of that being said, and that’s quite a bit so thank you for still reading!, I am able to lift weights and can feel myself getting stronger every day. My running on the other hand has suffered because I just haven’t done it in a month. That’s ok though. My body needed a break from it so I gave it to her.

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Whole30 Day 2

Oh.my.goodness…I’m in a mood today. Just…bleh…blah…bleah. I’m only on day two and I want to quit. I don’t want to quit because I’m craving chocolate (which I am!) but because I don’t like feeling this way and I don’t like that I can’t seem to get my calories right. I was low yesterday and will be low again tonight. Eventually, I should be able to figure it out but good grief…this is kickin’ my butt. I have a run tonight but I’m not anticipating it going very well for me. I’ll keep my fingers crossed! I decided to start tracking my meals here. I may not do every day but a weekly update. We’ll see. It’ll be something worth looking back at when I figure out what foods agree and don’t agree with me!

Day 1, November 19, 2012
Breakfast: Banana, Almond Butter, 2 Hard Boiled Eggs
Snacks: Grapefruit and Cashews
Lunch: Turkey Harvest Salad from Panera, no dressing or cheese
Dinner: Chicken Noodle-ss Soup
Exercise: None…too tired.
The soup was better than I thought it was going to be. I expected it to be a bit bland, but the Dijon mustard helped spice it up a bit! My first day went pretty well. I wasn’t really wanting sugar, so that’s a good thing! Since I didn’t properly fuel my body, my workout didn’t happen today. That’s ok, I’m running on Thursday (my normal day off) so it should all work out.

Day 2, November 20th, 2012
Breakfast: Banana, Almond Butter, 2 Hard Boiled Eggs
Snacks: Grapefruit, Cashews, Larabar
Lunch: Chicken Noodle-ss Soup (not as good the second day)
Dinner: Grilled Chicken with Cilantro
Exercise: 3 Mile run along the Waterway
I woke up in a sour mood. Even was able to sleep in some. Mike keeps asking me what’s wrong, but I can’t tell him what it is because I just don’t know. The Whole30 people say this will happen but I didn’t expect it like this. I went for a 2 mile walk at lunch hoping to boost my serotonin levels and hopefully perk up some. It was a nice walk but didn’t really help! My run went really well. I was able to run faster than I have in a while but I think that’s just because I kept trying to keep up with my running group. I normally run by myself so I don’t have that extra push. Again, calories were too low…really need to figure this out. I don’t want to eat less than my BMR for too long. I’ve worked too hard to boost my metabolism as is.
 

Food Doesn’t Have to be a Foe

Those of you who have been reading my blog know that I have an incredibly strong sweet tooth. I can’t help it…I was born that way! Unfortunately, this has gotten me in a bad position the past couple of “cheat” days on my weekends. However, it’s not just a temptation on the weekends…it’s all the time. I have been having to go into the kitchen at work every day this week and see this:

AND…this is only part of what was there originally! No, I didn’t eat the others. So far I’ve done pretty good in passing it up. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to nom down on the peanut butter cups and butterfingers. Did I mention how much I love Lemondrops? So, I take it a day at a time and hope I continue to make the wiser choice and leave the candy to everyone else.

When I got home, I was still craving sweets so I decided to eat a couple of blackberries. Unfortunately, my blackberries had grown afros…not cool.

Thankfully the blueberries were still in good shape!

Whoops!

Sorry I’ve been MIA lately. Unfortunately, so has my workouts for the past few days. Life has been put on fast forward and I can’t find the remote!!

This Thursday is my first day to try Crossfit…which scares me to death honestly. We’ll see how it goes. I jokingly told one of my friends that she was going to have to roll me out of the gym afterward, but it may not be too far from the truth!

Michelle and I have agreed, again, to eating out only 1 day a week starting Monday. We had agreed to this once before as well, but we didn’t do very good at sticking to it. I think part of that was because we didn’t really have a good plan in place. So, Thursdays are our only days to eat out from now on. That means no more asking “What are you doing for lunch today?”. We don’t really eat horribly when we go out. Many times we go to Panera and have soup and/or salad, but just the act of going to Panera leads to us going out more than we need to and being tempted to eat less than healthy food. Like today…we went to Chili’s and I had the Buffalo Chicken Ranch Sandwich with fries….calorie count you ask? 1430…yep, almost my entire calorie count for the day. *sigh* Gotta do better than that.

How about you? What do you do that helps you stay on track and away from bad foods? I don’t eat a lot of fast food…in fact, most of the time I go to a sit down restaurant.

Hope you guys and gals are doing well!

Sugarlog, Days 2 & 3

What a wonderful weekend we had! The weather was gorgeous and quite cool. It actually felt like Fall for a little bit. On Saturday, I got up and run some errands in the morning then went over to Tamarac Park and got in 6 miles worth of walking. It was a great walk but I noticed my left foot (ball of the foot) felt a bit raw so I decided 6 miles was plenty.

I stopped by Lowe’s and picked up some paint swatches (yep, thinking of redecorating!) and a couple of books then went home to pick up the Hubby. We went to check out a place called My Fit Foods. They have perfectly portioned meals, many of which are gluten free. We didn’t pick anything up as we didn’t have a cooler to get them back to the house in, but I think I may get some of these meals for dinner for next week. Mike probably won’t eat them as they won’t have enough food for him. He has an extremely high metabolism that requires quite a bit more food than I do! So, I’ll have to let y’all know how they taste when I try them out. The meals looked good in the cooler. You could even buy them and heat them up there. They had a little eating area with tables and chairs.

Then Sunday, I stayed in my PJs all day watching football with Mike. I was going to get a few more miles in, but my foot was bothering me a great deal. Come to find out I had blisters. So, it’s time to get some new athletic socks and possibly some new shoes. Those shoes have probably close to 300 miles. I’ve heard that you can normally get anywhere from 300-400 miles on a good pair of running shoes before the materials start breaking down.

Today is a walk/run day, so I’m hoping the socks I use won’t irritate the blister too much. I’m tired of dealing with blisters on that foot. My guess is it’s the same blister that just hasn’t completely healed yet that keeps getting aggravated.

Hope y’all had a great weekend!