It all started when I agreed to try out a Crossfit class with some ladies from work. I watched one video and I have to admit it truly scared me. I walk on a normal basis and I have no doubt I could go out and walk a 5K tomorrow if need be, but I am a wimp when it comes to strength training. For better or worse, I’m a clutz and tend to try to use weight machines (if I do strength training) so I don’t drop the weights. So, the idea of putting free weights above my head wasn’t too enticing!
Michelle, Alaina, Jennifer and I showed up to DynamicFit full of curiosity. There were a few guys there and the trainer, Shane.
Everyone was so supportive and helpful. While I definitely felt out of my element, I didn’t feel judged. Shane put us through the warm-up and stretching. The first circuit consisted of a wall handstand. BWahahahaha…yeah, that so wasn’t happening for me. The girls and I were given some pvc stands and boxes to scale the workout to our abilities. My legs started shaking. We had to hold that for a minute, then move on to a squat for a minute, then a pull up hold for a minute, and an L lift (I think it was called) for…yep you got it, a minute. Then REPEAT! My legs were shaking so bad on the handstand and squats. Then I couldn’t hold a pull up to save my life so I just kept jumping and trying to hold the best I could. When it was over I thought I might get sick. Thankfully Michelle and I had a light lunch!
The next circuit was to hold a weight bar overhead (I just used the dow, or wooden bar, for today) and do 15 squats (overhead squats), then a sprint 100 meters, and repeat 5 times total. I really enjoyed the squats. I felt strong in my movements, but as soon as I put the bar down to do my run my legs became jello and didn’t want to move. After about the 3rd sprint (which really turned out to be a fast walk) a muscle around my ankle started really bothering me. I guess I have weak ankle muscles…will need to work on that. I finished that set in 12 minutes 30 seconds. Not too bad, but not great either.
This was me after:
Shane kicked my ass. So, how did I like it? I didn’t like it at all during the class. Feelings of failure and embarrassment filled my head through the entire exercise. Everyone else was able to do so much more than me and here I was, someone who has been walking/running on a normal basis, and I couldn’t do the sprints. I decided I was NOT going to do this again. I don’t need to be humiliated like that.
Then….I got my wits back. No one was judging me there. No one was acting as though I didn’t belong. It was me that was judging myself. I should have been proud of myself. I completed a hard workout and I was still standing! What did I learn? I have strong, capable legs that are screaming to be sculpted. It is evident I’m not pushing myself as hard as I should be with my cardio. I am able to hang in there despite my tracheal stenosis. I didn’t just put my shoes away and stop trying to get healthier like some might. Last of all….I kept repeating the phrase on the gym wall and realized it’s true.
My husband asked me “Are you going to go back?” The honest answer is I don’t want to. However, I think I need to. I think it’s important to push myself out of my comfort zone if I truly want to make myself healthier. I am grateful for my body and the fact that I don’t have too many restrictions even at my size (225lbs). So, I should let it know that by treating it right!