Tag Archives: Weight Loss

When the fat Comes Back

The past couple of months, since giving up dieting, I’ve been reading Go Kaleo’s blog and have joined the Eating the Food Facebook Group (awesome support there!). I’ve also read Matt Stone’s books Eat for Heat and Diet Recovery 2 as well as Amber’s Taking up Space. Slowly, I’ve replaced all of the blogs/books I used to read about calorie restriction and the latest/greatest diet with items that promote healthy living and loving the body you have now, not the body you’re longing to have.

I’m struggling a bit though. I’ve gained weight. I went from a 55lb loss to a 33lb loss, which is still a loss but…sigh…22lbs? I “think” my scale has stopped moving up but I’m trying not to weigh myself too much because I’m afraid of what the number will be. There are plenty of other people in my camp and the common response is “be patient. Just keep going and you’ll start losing again”. Shoot, look at Amber’s results and that should speak for itself. However, on the same foot, people have laughed at others who just kept going with Paleo thinking it would eventually work for them. So, that little voice in my head starts saying “what if they’re wrong? What if they’re just saying that because that’s what they ALL say?”

I’m really trying my best not to flip out and start dropping my calories again. My metabolism is shot. I know this. I’ve been perpetually dieting since my mom made me do Weight Watchers with her when I was 11. I’m not faulting my mom, not at all. She did what she felt was right, but it also started an unhealthy view of food from then on.

When I started the re-feeding I ate whatever my body craved. What did it crave? Chocolate, candy, cake, greasy burgers, and chocolate…did I mention chocolate? So, I let myself eat it. Before, I would buy a bag of almond M&Ms. Not the small personal size but the big mama jama bag. I’d eat the whole bag in one sitting while Mike was gone or while I was at work in my office then I’d hide the evidence. I did a lot of “closet” eating like that. On my 30th day sugar free, I ate cookies, cake, and candy because I had reached my goal of 30 days and could enjoy a “little bit” now. Eating disorder? Pfft…no, I didn’t have an eating disorder. I was still fat. People with EDs are thin and make themselves either starve or throw up. That definitely was NOT me. Then again, that’s what anyone with an ED would say, isn’t it? I may not have been anorexic or bulimic but I definitely had an unhealthy relationship with food.

I still have some days where I eat a lot of sugar, but I also have quite a few days where I think “oh, I can get a candy bar at lunch and be done with it by the time I get back to the office and no one will know” but then don’t do it because I don’t really want to eat it. It’s just the ED rearing its ugly head again. I recognize this now. And while it’s extremely embarrassing for me to admit I hid food, I know I’m not alone. I also understand that sugar, starch, salt, and fat help to repair a destroyed metabolism so it’s not any shock that I would be craving some of the foods I’m craving.

However, I’m still scared to death. What if all of this won’t work for me like it did for some of the others? As some people have said I am not a “special snowflake”. Tammy’s body works the same as most every one else’s. So, I just have to trust in the process and keep on keeping on.

One of the measurements for metabolism health is body temperature. If you’re below 98 degrees, then you need to do more work on your system. Also, after you eat a “warm” meal (meaning it raises the core temperature and repairs the metabolism) you should feel it. I have yet to feel that warming sensation. However, I am learning to identify certain things my body is trying to tell me. For instance, my “I’m satiated” signal is very very quiet but it is there. If I eat slow enough and listen I can identify that and stop eating. This typically happens well before I finish my entire meal. There are days though that I don’t hear it or the taste of the food is so “loud” that it overpowers that signal and I eat until I’m bursting at the seams. I know this now and with knowledge comes power. I’m not sure if I’m brave enough to post unflattering pictures here, but I will do my best to keep track of my progress.

All of that being said, and that’s quite a bit so thank you for still reading!, I am able to lift weights and can feel myself getting stronger every day. My running on the other hand has suffered because I just haven’t done it in a month. That’s ok though. My body needed a break from it so I gave it to her.

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Time Warp!

It’s just a jump to the left….

Hello My Lovelies! I’m so sorry I haven’t been around for the past month. Apparently, I’ve had my head in the clouds and have just lost all sense of time. How have things been going for y’all?

On the weight loss front, I’m still hanging around 188lbs. That’s probably because my eating hasn’t been the greatest. My exercise has been outstanding, if I do say so myself. Check this out, BAM:

My eating on the other hand, yeah…not so much. I have been struggling with getting my eating back under control after vacation and learning that I’m allergic to rice and lemons. Who’s allergic to rice and lemons?! Sigh…that’s alright though. I’ll keep pushing through! 😀 Seriously though, a month of not eating well (now, I didn’t go all hog wild either) is quite enough.

I am encouraged by the fact that I didn’t really gain any weight during my month long binge. Maybe one day I will be able to maintain my weight without logging everything I eat!

Let’s look at the self-improvement areas now. I mentioned that I am trying to better myself (better worker, wife, family member, all around human) and have made a list of virtues I want to uphold. Unfortunately, I’ve not been doing very good at keeping these in mind as I fly off the handle because someone doesn’t know how to drive. That being said, I need to read this list every morning until I have them emblazoned on my frontal lobe. I recently took FranklinCovey’s 5 Choices web conference and learned some interesting tidbits that may help me with this.

By working through the 5 Choices each day when looking at tasks, we can create a culture in the work place where we focus on the important, not just the urgent. This can also be beneficial in our personal life as well. For example, is one of your roles that of a “Spouse”? By identifying the role statement (e.g. As a Spouse, I will foster a closer relationship with my Husband through quality one-on-one time together) and creating actionable goals (e.g. Schedule 52 date nights this year) we can create a clear road map for being productive in that role/relationship. Once you’ve identified the actionable items, book them on your calendar and follow through.

Every decision of the day should run through the 5 Choices in order to continue the desired culture/environment. To learn more about this process, FranklinCovey offers the 5 Choices to Extraordinary Productivity as an online web conference that lasts 1 day. It consists of three 90 minute sessions with an hour long break in between. You will be expected to participate in the group discussions and/or chat boxes. They will provide you with the tools, but it is up to you to follow through.

So, I am going to attempt to put the 5 Choices stuff in place this month and see if it makes any difference in my life. Not only will I be using this at work (which it is mainly about) but in my every day personal life. I need to take more time to connect with my friends and family. Life isn’t only about getting a paycheck!

Oh, and HAPPY FALL!! I’m so excited to have some cooler weather this morning. It was actually a little crisp and made me want to roll in the leaves except it was dewy and dark and who knows what else I would have been rolling in. O_O

Hello July!

Wow, I can’t believe this year is more than 1/2 over. Time is flying by. It’s been a while since I’ve updated my weight loss on the site. That’s because it wasn’t moving for the most part! This morning however, I weighed in at 188.1! Yes, Ladies and Gents, I am finally in the 180’s! That brings me to 60lbs lost in the past 2 years. I know a lot of people can lose that in 1 year, but I tend to bounce around a bit! I should probably do a new before and after picture. My last one was at the 50lb lost mark.

I’m on workout 6 (just 5 more workouts left) in NROLFW Stage 1. While I’m not upping my weight as much as I was at the beginning, I’m still steadily gaining strength!

  Start Today
Back Squat 45 115
Deadlift 95 145
Push Up 45% Regular
Seated Row 45 105
Step Up 55 80
Shoulder Press 15 22.5
Wide Grip Pull Down 40 90
Lunge 15 22.5

I’m happy with my numbers so far! I’ve also noticed that my body seems to be changing shape, which is awesome! In July, I cut back on my running. I used to run 3 days a week, but now I’m only running on Saturdays. While I am pleased with my progress (2 miles without stopping!) I have to admit that running is quite boring for me most of the time. So, when I started NROLFW I decided to change up my schedule. Now, I lift weights Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, try all sorts of new workouts on Tuesdays, and run on Saturdays. That gives me 2 days off during the week and has been fun so far. I enjoy trying new things on Tuesdays instead of just going out and running. Let’s look at my workouts for July. The first is the amount of time I spent working out. It went down a bit from May, but on par with the other months:

All workouts for June:

As you can see, I’m not slacking on the exercise! This is new for me. In the past, I would workout hard and diet which would lead to losing 40-50lbs. Then, I’d get tired of watching everything I ate and sweating, so I’d stop. Of course, at that point the weight all came back on and then some! This is the first time in my lift that I have been working out 3-5 times a week for the last 2 years. I don’t want to say that I’ve finally made exercise a habit for fear that I may relapse, but I am definitely more aware of how I feel when I do and when I don’t work out. That is enough to keep me going. If I stop working out for a week, there’s a good chance that I won’t workout again for a long time! It’s just easier to keep going than to stop and try to start again. The same is true in running. No matter how tired you are, it’s easier to push through it and keep running than drop to a walk and try to run again.

This past month I also started using My Fitness Pal. I was using the Lose It! app, but have found the support to be much better on MFP. I will do a review post of MFP coming up soon!

How was your June?!

Who’s Afraid of a Cheat Day? Me…

As I sit here writing this post, I’m pondering whether I should allow myself to have a cheat day once a month. First, a little background. If you’ve read my blog for a bit you already know this, but I’m going to recap anyway!

I have Idiopathic (meaning don’t know what caused it) Tracheal Stenosis (a narrowing of my airway). Over time, my throat closes up to the size of straw which makes working out, heck even just walking across the parking lot, quite a chore. Think of wearing a nose plug and only being able to breathe what air you can suck in through a drinking straw. Now, think of running or lifting weights while doing that. Yeah…not fun.

Since the doctors don’t know what’s causing it, I’ve been trying to do different things with my diet to see if I can make it better. I’ve been sugar free for 60 days and gluten/dairy free for 45. So far, I can’t really tell where it’s making a difference, except for helping me lose weight! That being said, I don’t want to go through the rest of my life never eating another piece of bread, cake, or Mexican food…mmmm….Mexican food.

With that in mind, I’ve told myself that I would allow 1 day a month where I don’t worry about what I eat. Obviously, I’m not going to binge but I’m also not going to worry about gluten/dairy/sugar. In my mind, once a month is not bad. If I allowed myself one day a week I would be in trouble though.

So, what’s the problem? I’m scared to death that if I break free from my diet for the day that I’ll have a hard time getting back in to the groove the next day which may lead to me eating badly again…then again…and you get the picture.  I’ve lost 50+ lbs and I don’t want to gain them back. 6 months ago I would have been “hell yeah!” about a cheat day and not thought twice about it but I would also have probably fallen back in to my cycle of gaining the weight back and having just that much further to go.

This outlook is definitely new for me. This fear…I don’t like it. I should have confidence in myself to make the right choices for me. I want to be one of those people who can enjoy a piece of cake at a party and be able to go back to being healthy. Normally, an all or nothing approach is best for me. Especially since I think I’m a sugar addict. But, it’s just not realistic to think I’m never going to eat it again!

How can I enjoy my “cheat” day and hop back in the saddle without feeling food guilt or fear that I’ll gain 50lbs in one day?